Loneliness should not be equated with a fear of being alone.
Everyone has times when they are alone for situational reasons, or because they
have chosen to be alone. Being alone can be experienced as positive,
pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's
control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people,
and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is
therefore unwilling solitude.
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person
experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more
than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with
another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected, and/or
alienated from other people, so that it feels difficult or even impossible to
have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often feel empty or
hollow inside.
Being alone and lonely, and even just the fear of being alone,
make many people insecure, anxious and depressed. If you fear being alone you may become over
needy of other people and feel as if you must be around people at all
times. While we all, to varying degrees,
need people in our life, if you feel you must have people around all the time
then this need is controlling you.
What is meant by "being alone" means different
things to different people. It is
critical to evaluate what makes up your fear and to what degree this fear
controls you and your behavior. For example, it is important to note if there
are any social elements to the fear, is the fear related to personal violence
concerns, and is the focus on one particular person or type of person rather
than on the need to have another human being in close proximity.
Clinical and research evidence supports the fact that all
too often one of the main reasons that both men and women get into a
relationship, and then often stay in a relationship, is related to a fear of
being alone. And as any good counselor
knows, a relationship that is based on fear is destined to be a very unhappy
and unfulfilling relationship. Until a person can learn to enjoy their own
company, they may constantly find themselves lonely or getting into
relationships that are, or end up, based on fear. All too often, people who are not comfortable
with themselves unknowingly stop themselves from not only being the best person
they can be but from experiencing deep levels of intimacy with others as well.
At the extreme, the fear of being alone is known by a number
of names - Autophobia, Isolaphobia, and Monophobia. This fear of being alone
often significantly impacts on a person's quality of life. It can cause panic
attacks, keep people apart from loved ones and business associates, and play
total havoc with a person's life.
Symptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing,
irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, although
everyone experiences being alone fear in their own way and may have different
symptoms.
SURESH KUMAR DEWANGAN